Let me take you back to a time when everything seemed like it was about to fall apart. We’ve all been there, right? You’re in the middle of a mess, and you think, “This ship is going down.” But sometimes, it’s in those moments of chaos and uncertainty that true leadership emerges—not the kind that’s all polished and perfect, but the kind that’s real, raw, and vulnerable.
Now, I’m not talking about the kind of vulnerability where you’re just spilling your guts for the sake of it. I’m talking about the kind that connects, inspires, and, yes, transforms. And boy, did I witness that firsthand.
Redefining Vulnerability:
A few years ago, I was part of an organization that was on the brink of collapse. I’m talking about lights out, doors closed, and don’t forget to lock up on your way out. The budget was bleeding red, morale was in the basement, and it felt like every other day we were losing someone from the team. Enter our leader, let’s call her Melinda.
Melinda wasn’t new to the organization, but she was stepping into a whole lot of mess. And she knew it. But instead of pretending everything was fine, Melinda did something I’d never seen a leader do before. She stood up at our first all-hands meeting, looked us all in the eye, and said, “Look, I’m not going to sugarcoat this. We’re in trouble. But I believe in this team, and I believe we can turn this around.” She didn’t just admit that things were wrong—she owned it. That right there was a masterclass in vulnerability.
As Brené Brown, one of the leading researchers on vulnerability, says, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.” That’s exactly what Melinda did—she showed up, fully aware of the risks, but also fully committed to leading us through the storm.
The Benefits of Vulnerability in Leadership:
Melinda didn’t stop at admitting the problems. She laid out a vision, clear and strong, but she didn’t tip her hand too early. She understood something critical: when a ship looks like it’s sinking, it’s easy for people to jump overboard. But she kept us focused, showing just enough of the way forward to keep hope alive, while also being real about the challenges ahead.
And let me tell you, that vulnerability paid off. When she admitted she didn’t have all the answers, it opened the door for the rest of us to step up and contribute our ideas. It wasn’t just her show anymore—it was a team effort. That honesty built trust, and trust built a connection that carried us through the tough times. We weren’t just working for a leader—we were working with her.
Turning Vulnerability into Strength:
So, how did Melinda turn her vulnerability into strength? Here’s how:
1. She Acknowledged Her Feelings: Melinda didn’t pretend to have it all together. She admitted when she was uncertain and when she was worried. But she balanced that with a deep belief in the team’s ability to overcome the obstacles. Her honesty made us trust her more, not less.
2. She Asked for Help: Instead of trying to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders, Melinda reached out to us—her team, her peers, even her mentors. She knew she didn’t have all the answers, and she wasn’t afraid to lean on others for support.
3. She Shared Her Story: Melinda wasn’t afraid to tell us about the sleepless nights, the doubts, and the fears she had about the organization’s future. But she also shared her unwavering belief that we could come out the other side stronger. That transparency was like a breath of fresh air—it made us feel like we were all in this together.
4. She Created Space for Others to Be Vulnerable: By showing her own vulnerability, Melinda gave us permission to do the same. Suddenly, the floodgates opened, and we were having real, honest conversations about our challenges and how to tackle them. The walls came down, and innovation started flowing.
Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability:
Now, let’s be real for a second—being vulnerable isn’t easy. There’s a fear that if you show too much, people will think you’re weak, or worse, incompetent. But here’s the truth: vulnerability isn’t about weakness. It’s about strength. It’s about having the courage to say, “I don’t know,” or “I need help,” or “I’m scared, but I’m still moving forward.” And that kind of courage? It’s contagious.
Brené Brown also highlights that “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” Melinda could have put on a brave face and pretended everything was fine. But by choosing vulnerability, she built a foundation of trust that turned our team into a powerhouse. And by the time we came out on the other side, not only was the organization still standing—it was thriving.
Putting Vulnerability into Practice:
So, how can you take this concept and use it in your own leadership? Here are a few practical steps:
1. Self-Reflect Regularly: Set aside time each week to reflect on your leadership journey. Ask yourself, “Where do I feel most challenged or uncomfortable?” These are your Growth Edges. Write them down and think about what they’re trying to teach you.
2. Seek Honest Feedback: Growth Edges can be tough to spot on your own. Invite trusted colleagues, mentors, or even your team to give you honest feedback. Ask them, “Where do you see areas in my leadership that could use some smoothing out?” This isn’t about criticism—it’s about getting the insights you need to grow.
3. Take Small, Consistent Actions: Growth doesn’t happen overnight. Identify small, actionable steps you can take to address your Growth Edges. Maybe it’s reading a book on a particular skill, taking a course, or simply asking more questions in meetings. The key is consistency—keep chipping away at those edges.
4. Embrace Discomfort: When you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, don’t shy away. Lean into it. Remind yourself that this is where growth happens. It’s okay to feel uncertain or even a little scared—that’s a sign you’re on the right track.
5. Build a Support System: Surround yourself with people who can help you navigate your Growth Edges. This could be a mentor, a coach, or a peer group. Having a support system will keep you grounded and give you the encouragement you need to keep going.
6. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection: As you work on your Growth Edges, remember to celebrate your progress. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about growing and improving. Each step forward, no matter how small, is a victory.
Conclusion:
So, here’s the takeaway: Vulnerability isn’t a weakness—it’s a superpower. It’s what turns a good leader into a great one. When you embrace vulnerability, you create a culture of trust, connection, and resilience. You inspire others to do the same. So the next time you’re faced with a challenge, don’t be afraid to be real. Admit when things aren’t perfect, ask for help when you need it, and trust that your team will rise to the occasion. Remember, it’s not about having all the answers—it’s about having the courage to lead with heart.